Revenge is the Burger of the Day
by ToothPasteCanyon
Summary: Bob and Mr Fischoeder drowned under the wharf instead of being rescued. The Belcher family looks for answers; Louise looks for payback.


Louise was sitting on the counter, a crudely drawn map of the town in front of her. She tapped a pencil against her chin. "Dad, Dad. Mom says they've checked every bar after she mentioned those buttdials, but they found nothing! Why hasn't he come back by now?"

"He could be stuck in a wall. It's happened before!"

"Gene, that's... that's actually a great idea! We gotta tell Bosco!"

"Tell Basco what?" Linda stuck her head out of the kitchen. "You kids found something?"

Gene spread his arms wide. "Dad's stuck inside a wall again! Quick, we gotta save him before he runs out things to pee in!"

"Oh my gosh, you're right! Bobby, we're gonna get you home to a toilet!"

She ran around to the front and reached for the telephone, only to see it start ringing. Louise leaned forwards.

"Well, that's creepy. C'mon Mom, answer it!"

"Yeah, Mom. Maybe it's the wall, calling to say sorry."

"Or maybe the wall's delivering a ransom!"

"Gene, seriously?" Louise snorted. "If the wall wants a ransom, it's picked the wrong family."

"Kids, shush!" Linda picked up the phone. "Hello? Oh, Sergeant Bosco!"

Louise blinked. "Wow, that guy's got timing."

"Tell him about the wall, Mom!"

"I'm getting to that! Sergeant, you know how- wait, what?" She gripped the phone. "You found my Bobby?"

"They found Dad? Oh my god!"

"Did they find him in a wall?"

"Tell us, woman!"

"Wait, what?" Linda frowned. "What do you mean, not good news? You found him, right?" A pause. "You want me to meet you down at the station? Why? What are you- Oh, okay. I-I'll be there. Thank you, bye."

Louise didn't like the pale look on her mother's face. "What was he talking about, with not-good news? Did someone shave his moustache or something?"

"No, that's not it. Kids, um... I'll be back soon. Tina's in charge, okay?"

"Why do they want you to go down to the station?" Gene banged his fist on the counter. "They've got the wrong person! The wall framed you!"

"Yeah, Mom, why do they want you down there?"

Linda took off her apron with trembling fingers. "It's nothing, really, just... they want me to identify a body."

It was like the temperature dropped ten degrees. There were no wisecracks this time, just shock and horror.

After a moment, Louise looked around the room of open mouths and laughed, nervously. "They're, they're talking about Mr Fischoeder, right? I mean, that's sad and all but, um, that's who they're talking about, right? It's got to be!"

"Of course not, Louise. Both your father and Mr Fischoeder are alive, okay?" She kissed each of them on the head before going to the door. "I love you all. Everything's going to be fine; Mommy's gonna sort this out."

The door shut with a bang and ringing of bells. They stood there, watching as their mother drove off.

Then Gene spoke in a very thin voice. "Tina?"

"Yeah, Gene?"

"Can you pinch me? I really want to be dreaming."

Tina pinched him.

"Ow. Why am I never dreaming when I want to be?!"

* * *

"So this one's called Window. We just sit here and stare at cars. Wait, I'm renaming it to Cars, that's much more fitting." Tina looked back. "You guys seemed more interested in this than any of the board games, so I'm rolling with it. First one to see Mom's car wins."

A car passed. It was blue. Then another. That one was white.

"Wow," Louise sat back. "This is sooo exciting."

"Is that an icecream truck? Oh, that's just a white van. A candy truck!"

Tina looked at her brother. "You just ate, Gene."

"And your point is?"

"I mean, Mom should be back by now." Louise continued, ignoring her sibling's banter. "How long does it take to identify a body, anyway? One, two, three, oops, it's Mr Fischoeder. Then you bring home Dad."

Tina put a hand on her sister's shoulder. "Mom and Dad'll be back soon, Louise. Don't worry."

"Psh, I'm not worried! I just... he's been gone for two days and, now they've found him, and now he's... he's coming home, you know?"

Gene frowned. "What's that on your face, Louise? Wait, are you crying?"

"No!" Louise stood up, wiping her eyes. "I spilled some water on my face. Get off my back, you two!"

"Are you sure you don't want a hug?"

"I will slap you!"

"Should I take that as a no?"

At that moment a police car rolled up next to the restaurant. It stayed there, idling.

"Is that Mom?" Tina walked up to the window. "Why isn't she driving her car?"

"Maybe Bosco gave them a ride. Awesome! Do you think Mom and Dad got to wear handcuffs?"

" _Dad_!" Louise was halfway down the stairs before the word was out of her mouth. She burst out of the front door, siblings in tow. She frowned when Bosco and Felix Fischoeder stepped out of the car. "What are you doing? Where's Mom and Dad?"

"I'm giving your mother and Mr Fischoeder a ride back to their houses." Bosco motioned to Felix, who was pale and trembling. "They're in no condition to drive."

Gene walked forwards and looked into the back of the police car, where a lone figure was slumped on the chair. "Mom?"

Linda looked up and opened the car door, wiping her red eyes.

"Mom? What's going on?"

"Oh, my babies," Linda stumbled forwards and wrapped all three of her children in a tight hug. "You're safe. I'm h-here, okay? Mommy's here."

"But where's Dad?"

"He's - oh, my god, I can't b-believe it – he's gone, Louise! He's gone!"

Louise wiggled out of the hug. "Gone where? He's still at the police station?"

Linda shook her head.

"Then where is he? Where is he!"

Sergeant Bosco crossed his arms. "He's dead, little girl. I'm sorry for your loss."

"No..." Louise looked from the utterly serious face of Sergeant Bosco, to her mother and Tina and Gene, holding each other and sobbing. She backed away. "No! Dad's alive, I know it! You're lying!"

"Louise, sweetie-"

She covered her ears. "He's alive! I'm not listening; look, la la la la la la la! La la! La la, la..."

Louise trailed off, unable to stop the tears any longer. Her mother reached for her and this time she accepted it, holding on tight to what was left of her family.

And Felix looked away.


End file.
